What a week!! :) I don't feel like I am going home, I feel as if I am leaving it! I have had a lot of sadness and worry about leaving, there is nothing that compares to being a full time representative of Jesus Christ. I realize I must be grateful and have that gratitude overcome any feelings of sadness. This week has been powerful. I have been engulfed in the Savior's love. We have a spare room in our apartment and every spare second I have, I go to that room and pray to father. And pray that Christ's atonement will help me to be strong and continue to become. And I pour out my heart with gratitude.
I cannot believe how He has changed me. How patient He has been with me every time I have struggled on my mission, and in my life. He was so loving, and saw in me things I NEVER thought I could do. Who knew that someone with as many weaknesses as me could be an instrument in bringing souls to Christ. I am so humbled to think of all that Christ has done for me. And because of Him, MY MISSION WAS PERFECT. I have no regrets. Every weakness, every struggle, when the lessons I taught weren't as profound as I thought they should be, when I was fed up with my companions, when I was tired of giving all of myself to people and then having them completely insult everything I believe. When I was thrown into homes of Anti-Mormons and shown repulsively offensive material, the slammed doors, the rude gestures, laughed at, yelled at, rejected. When I didn't think I could go any further, and when I thought that Satan's deceptions of me were right. Guess who was there?
My loving Savior, Jesus Christ.
He has always been there.
He will always be there.
He heals me, loves me, forgives me, strengthens me, and is my anchor. He is helping me to become. And I know that he will not stop.
Because of him, I see me differently, I see others differently, my priorities are different.
I know he knows me perfectly. Because He sent me to a mission, with companions, and with millions of people that would be able to change my life. He let me witness absolute miracles. Marriages saved, atheist's becoming believers, hearts soften, complete changes in someone's physical appearance. I have seen light enter into VERY dark eyes.
I have seen so much hurt and sadness from addiction and abuse from people that do not have the gospel, to freedom and peace by receiving the gospel.
This is the Church of Jesus Christ in these Latter days.
I know it because there was not one day on my mission that I didn't feel the spirit. And the Spirit testifies of all truth. Everything that the church encompasses brings me and everyone closer to Christ. This is His church. I know it as I sing the His hymns, teach His gospel, find His lost sheep, baptize His elect, read the Book of Mormon that testifies of Him, listen to His prophet, attend His church services, worship in His temple, follow all of His guidelines, the members I meet, the conversions I see. EVERYTHING points me to Him and encourages me to be better and help others. God is so good to me. I cannot wait to return to Him as i follow His son DAILY.
I will be giving all of myself this last week :) I'll see you all next week :)
Love, Sister Kaylea Collings!