Friday, October 18, 2013

Last letter from the MTC

MOM AND DAD AND FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :):):)
ummm so....i can call you guys!! I will be at the airport on my way to california on monday!!!  You should tell jessie and conner to email me and steve! SO i can have their emails! incase.. i wanna say hello :) or something :)
ummm The MTC has been the most insane experience ever!   :) Oh snap!  this week has been hard!!! I feel like i have been so humbled... I realize how much i need to work on and sometimes it gets over whelming... and i just have to lock myself in the bathroom and cry.. i have never prayed as much as i do here! I feel like i am getting so close to our Savior and God..... its unreal!!!! I know in these two weeks i really have come a long way! BUT ITS OVERWHELMING!!!!!! SHEESHH!! But no worries.... i am so tough :):) we were teaching an investigator ( which im slowly getting better at!!)  And she told me I did my makeup really pretty and that i need to stay the weight that i am right now because its beautiful, and then she leaned over to my companion and grabbed her belly and said... you on the other hand you have some work to do! but no worries its only a few pounds!!! HOLY SMOKES!!! hahaha i felt so awkward and my companion felt so hurt.... it was an awkward moment for sure.... hahaha ummm we had Dallin H Oaks come and talk with us, it was so amazing :) He is so inspirational!!!!!!  Honestly all I can say about this week is... that i keep on truckin..... :) haha Ive never been so happy and so sad! Just because i can see how much im growing and on the other hand how much longer i have to go!

After I taught a lesson to my investigator, my teacher did like a spot light on me... he was  saying he was impressed and all that junk.... so it made me feel really good :):) We do this thing called book of mormon study where you ask yourself  question then just start reading until you get revelation... or something haha and so my question was,"Am i doing ok? Are you proud of me, or am i just screwing up," I was feeling so down... and sad... until i read the scriptures and i felt like he was really proud of me... so that felt nice.

OH!!!!! so i have been trying to expand my knowledge... and really focusing on myself! So that i can become better and stronger.... and i was frustrated because i felt like i wasn't getting anywhere until my teacher had a chat with me and he told me to turn to Matthew 11:29 Made me feel good because i  felt like when he said learn of me... it meant don't just focus on yourself to become better but really focus on my companion and my investigators that im teaching... and then while in a way studying for them and to strengthen me... it will strengthen  me too!!!!!

sighh my brain feels like exploding all the time hahaha and the day i realized how you really could teach the gospel as simple as possible... and as long as you are willing to teach with with spirit and let him guide your thoughts my days got LOTS BETTER!!!!!! So thats been my number one goal :) is just really trying to learn how i can recognize the spirit always because i know he is always there :):):) Sighhh yeah im really a scatter brain.... and im sorry about that!!! BUT! Im leaving in 2 days and it pretty much freaks me out... hahaha and yeah..

Something that really stuck me this week was a talk by Elder Holland and he said something along the lines of, "Salvation is not a cheap experience it wasnt easy for our savior so why should it be any easier for us". I realize things I have to change... and i realize that this mission is going to be the hardest yet GREATEST thing i will ever experience!!!! But i need to be truly converted to the gospel first. So im really trying!!!!!! And i know it isnt easy. its not suppose to be easy, and thats what makes it so great!!! Thats why i love running! Because after i have done something hard i feel so goood and man yeah!!! ALL I CAN SAY IS THE CHURCH IS TRUE!!!

Im trying SOOO HARD!!! And MAN i miss and love you!!! Truly!! Thanks so much for always being there for me! Im scared out of my mind to go to california in 2 days! but i know as long as i am obedient and try my best then ill have LOTS of help from the godhead :):) haha i actually am kinda obsessed with them.... the godhead pretty much rocks :):):) sighh....

LOVE YOU ALL!!!! And thanks for your emails!! Emails are great :) And for all my siblings... you can write me..... :) just so you know!!!! Dad and mom you're the best ever :) And im blessed to have you as an example :)

ok BYE!!! LOVE Sister Collings :):)

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